Wednesday, March 8, 2017

That's Marty

During a time that seemed like decades ago, and it probably was.  On a Thursday night, kickball league was the place to be.  The Bad in Plaid team was a kickball team with one mission.  Have as much drunken fun as humanly possible without going to jail.

Luckily, only one kickballer ended up in the clink over the years.  Names will be held (as long as the bribe money keeps flowing in) to protect the not so innocent.

Needless to say, in my late 20's, my life was chaotic and at times unbelievable.  A fellow teammate suggested that we write down my escapades and create a sitcom, That's Marty.  Truth be told, I thought I would come off as a narcissist had I pursued the idea.  I guess it's egotistical to think it would have gone anywhere anyhow, I guess nothings really changed.  With that said, it turned into nothing more than a fleeting thought.  The idea or at least the title has lingered in my mind ever since, I used it for my gmail account as well as my Instagram.  I think the time has come I use it for a blog, which I fully intend to turn into a full fledged vlog.

So what's happening in the life of Marty Hendricks you ask, or maybe you didn't but deep down I'm sure you were thinking it.  I'm currently on an unpaid leave of absence from my job selling Corporate Legal Services and driving Uber.  I'd like to tell you about the latest rider that stands out.

It was a Saturday night around midnight when I picked up a passenger and his date.  The gentleman got in the front seat of the Merc while his date sat in the back.  He was taller, probably a good 6'4" with a professional haircut and glasses.  Probably in his late 40's early 50's, wearing jeans with a flannel shirt and vest from LL Bean if I were to guess.  I didn't get a good look at his date, but she seemed pretty.  From what I could glean, they had just met earlier that night and he was from out of town.  When I went to start the trip it said we were heading to some town in North Carolina.  The guy was so blitz he wasn't even able to put the correct address in the app.  Luckily enough, the Uber app can use the GPS to figure out the charges of the ride, so I wasn't terribly worried.  After getting the address from the guy, I realized their destination was only a couple blocks away.  I didn't really care if it was a free ride or not, I just wanted to get the super drunk dude out of my car.

As we started off, the guy sticks his head between the seats backwards like to try and kiss his dates hand.  Now mind you, after pleasantries, his date in the backseat was noticeably quit.  When "she" did talk, it seemed that the higher pitch was forced.  To pull back the curtain so to speak, when it came to the passenger in the back seat, Steven Tyler said it best.  Dude looked like a lady!  It got so ridiculous that at one point I literally said to him that I needed him to sit upright and that there was no Hanky Panky in my car.  The ride only lasted a minute, but it was one of the longest minutes I've endured.

I'm curious to know if he knew his date was packing heat or not, but I'm glad I wasn't there to find out!  Could you imagine if they were both in the back seat!  Talk about crazy...

Until next time.